Let me paint a picture. (With words, thank God. Even my stick people are pathetic.) I have blonde hair—thanks to a talented stylist—and brown eyes—thanks to God, and a dimple in my left cheek. I can remember back in the 80’s, in all my late-teen glory, vowing to myself that I would never be one of those women who “let themselves go.” (Insert horrified gasp.) I’d NEVER go to the grocery store without full make-up, my hair would always be Aqua-netted within an inch of its life, (Good old AquaNet–you could have bounced a quarter off my hair and it wouldn’t have disturbed a strand.) and I would do my best to remain healthy and fit.
A husband, two kids and a mortgage later, the last thing on my mind
when I double-time it through Wal-Mart for toothpaste, juice boxes, and
washing detergent is whether or not my hair and make-up are flawless.
(More like, is my hair combed??? Do I have jelly on my shirt???) I am
more concerned with getting said groceries and getting the &^%$#%
out of the store before I have the unfortunate experience of seeing anyone
I know. As for the Aqua-net and remaining fit, I’ve decided that
I was a horribly shallow, exceedingly vain teen and that I’d much rather eat a cookie and invest in a good foundation garment. (Spanx anyone?) I only plan to run if something is chasing me, but do walk at our local park on a regular basis. The iPod, it is my friend. Thank you, Chris Daughtery. You never fail to put a perk in my step.
No dress code. I can wear my pajamas to work, which most of the time that’s exactly what I do. Occasionally I’ll go to the trouble of putting on a T-shirt and a pair of sweats, but that’s just more laundry and despite the fact that I write hot, steamy romantic comedies, I’m entirely too practical for that. I’m my own boss/set my own hours. Close to deadline this means that I’m hunched over my computer at all hours of the day and night and my children know not to talk to me or make loud noises. Hubby knows not to ask stupid inconsequential questions like, “What’s for supper?” Kids have been told not to enter office unless they are bleeding. This led to one unfortunate incident with a red Sharpie. My daughter drew several ghastly wounds all over her body. (Shudder) Ah. A personal favorite. Revenge therapy. There’s nothing more satisfying than eviscerating an enemy on the page. Go ahead, punk. Make my day. Tick me off and there will be a jerk or a slut—depending on gender—in my next book who bears an uncanny resemblance to you. Muahaha. I’m only a couple dozen steps from the kitchen. This means I can have a snack any time I want. And I want snacks a lot. I’m only a dozen steps away from the couch—which is centered in front of the TV—and I can lay down and relax any time my muse isn’t cooperating. (Grabbing a snack from the kitchen and watching Northern Exposure and Gilmore Girls reruns seems to help this occasional affliction.) I can frequently check my email, or call my critique partner. (Both of which I do often. Too often. Note to self–stay off the &*%$! phone.) I get to create people and the world they live in and essentially make them do whatever I want them to. I’m the unseen mistress of their world. Very cool, is it not?
LORD OF SCOUNDRELS By Loretta Chase THE LAST HELLION By Loretta Chase SON OF THE MORNING By Linda Howard SOLITARY SOLDIER By Debra Webb THE DARK HIGHLANDER By Karen Marie Moning HARRY POTTER series by JK Rowling STEPHANIE PLUM series by Janet Evanovich HIGH HEARTS By Rita Mae Brown Anything by Debra Webb, Julia Quinn, Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Karen Hawkins, Jennifer LaBrecque, Vicki Lewis Thompson, Suzanne Enoch, Sabrina Jeffries, Beverly Barton, Lyn Stone, Linda Winstead Jones, Kristin Robinette, Stephanie Bond, Tori Carrington, Susan Carroll and many, many more.
Country music Diet Mountain Dew Hershey’s chocolate with almonds (preferably a Big Block) a long soak in a bubble bath curling up with a good book sleeping late on a rainy day room service (or any meal that I don’t have to cook.) watching my kids sleep (it’s the only time they’re quiet.) cruising eBay money (When is money not good???) massage from talented hubby Rob Pattinson’s smile watching Britcoms, CSI, Everybody Loves Raymond, or a good romantic comedy having good parking karma having my hair brushed cable internet
slow drivers in the fast lane missing the garbage truck finding empty containers in the fridge a shopping cart with a cockeyed wheel people who don’t keep their word telemarketers
“Seduce my mind and you can have my body,
Find my soul and I’m yours forever.”
And, well… that’s enough about me. Hope you enjoyed your peek
into my simple yet twisted mind.